Ladies and gentlemen, I give you intimacy.

I love these two videos:





I think to myself, if I could make any art, I would want it all to be like this. It's hard to explain.

• I find a strange pleasure in being allowed to look at one person for an extended period of time, but also being looked back at by them. It is intimate. There is also something about looking into people's faces when they've just been thrashing about that feels honest.
  
• There is something unabashedly goofy and stupid about these two. They are not good dancers and it's glorious. But, I get to see the singularness of their movement and it's like seeing more of a person than they could ever say.
• This reminds me of so many nights alone in my room, having a dance party by myself. Maybe they capture the ecstatic, prayer-like connection to the thrumming of the universe that I feel in those moments. In the most recent class I took, I found myself dancing my way into my pieces. I would start with a song and movement quality and go from there. Because dancing has been feeling truer than speaking recently. (I don't feel connected to my voice on stage and I am so reluctant to speak.)
• Little pieces of lovely nastiness. Thom's sweaty pits and dirty hair. Robyn's inept floor humping and hilarious snarls.
  
• Simple. Person. Background. Lights. Images that are about nothing.
  
• Maybe this is part of intimacy, but there is a gentleness to be found here. I talk a lot about my depravity, how debased I can be, how cruel in the art that I make, but I have been craving kindness of late. I want to be good and sweet and comforting, without irony, without comment.
• These feel like a gifts.

There's a quiet space that exists in me and in anyone really that needs to be shared. It reminds me that we are made of soft, fleshy tissue. So you know, I contradict myself.